It doesn't rain, it bores

On Boxing Day I got up late and hung in my hammock for a bit, then I went for a short swim in the very warm sea. In the evening I went to an English pub called the Frog and Gecko to watch one of the Premier League football matches that they were broadcasting from home, Spurs v Fulham to be precise. It's a good job I had nothing better to do, because the game was rubbish and ended 0-0. I don't think I've ever seen Tottenham score a goal.

The next day I got up late again, hung about in a hammock, swam in the sea, etc. It just wouldn't do, and I wasn't even enjoying lazing about in the sun that much, if anything I found it quite tedious. Australia, for want of someone to blame, had made me a very sloppy traveller. Backpacking in that country is just so easy, I simply wasn't making an effort any more. I was probably waiting for a bus driver to arrange everything for me. So fun was Australia too, and so whirlwind had my days been before Ko Samui, that suddenly being on my own with nothing to do was like landing with a nasty bump, and frankly I just wasn't happy. I decided to put things in to perspective. Afterall, I was no more alone than I was during my time in New York, or San Francisco, or Auckland. And scanning my mind back four months, I recall that I expected to be alone on this trip far more often than I actuallly have been. So things weren't so bad, really. I then decided to do something about being so bored.

I found a tour agency, of which there are lots in Samui, and simply said "I'm bored, what can you do?" I was given a couple of leaflets on quad biking trips, and some more on boat tours of Angthong National Park, not far from Ko Samui. I signed up for both, as I'd enjoyed quad biking in Oz, and Angthong seemed like a must-do. The very act of booking these trips cheered me up immensely. I wondered why I hadn't done it sooner. I'd timed it thus: the rest of that day I would spend planning the rest of my time in Thailand, the next day I would go quad biking, the day after that I would check out Chaweng, where all the other backpackers are, and the day after that I would do Angthong. And, I was pretty sure I hadn't been ripped off. Agents for specific areas, I found, tend to have pretty similar prices to each other, for there is competition, and they know you're gonna shop around. Not like Bangkok, where Thailand newbies seem to be very much taken advantage of.

I arrived at the quad bike centre and met the other people who were going to do the trip. As it turned out, there were only two others taking part, an Australian couple on a three week holiday. They were very nice people indeed, and a good laugh to bomb around with. The ride was really a tour of the mountain areas of Ko Samui, and the track rarely departed from nice tarmac'd roads. Not that it wasn't fun. We reached the hightest point on the island and took in some fantastic views. Lunch was included, and this was at a very attractive restaurant high up among the trees. The food there I think was some of the best I've had in Thailand. After finishing with the quad bikes, I headed back to my beach. Not much going on there again. I got an early night.

Around midday the next day I caught a lift to Chaweng. Not in a taxi, but in a songthaew, a sort of pick-up truck bus thing that will just take you from the side of the road and bundle you in the back with other skint passengers. It's exciting. Chaweng is clearly where all the action is, and again I wondered why I hadn't come to these parts sooner. It's bustling with activity, shops, markets, bars, restaurants and heavy traffic. I felt more comfortable here, and it wasn't long before I stepped in to a bar. It was called Tropical Murphy's, which I thought was a great name for an Irish pub in Thailand. In here I got talking to some more Australians, and they invited me to come with them to the next place, which turned out to be Samui's most popular beach bar. Loud music, bright lights, crazy people. This was more like how I expected Thailand to be. By the end of the night though, I was grateful to go back to my little quiet spot in Bo Phut.

Waking with my worst hangover in weeks, I got ready for my tour of the Angthong national park and waited outside for the company's bus to collect me. I did this for about an hour before I decided it was a bit late, and after some phone calls was instructed to wait further down the road. The bus never turned up in the end. Instead, the boat came and picked me up from the beach directly. This should've felt like a privilege I suppose, but actually it was quite embarrassing, considering everyone else had made it without any troubles. After about an hour we rocked up to the first island in Angthong and did some snorkelling. Some very beautiful coral and marine life was to be seen, and the water was crystal clear. Too soon it seemed, we were whisked away to a beach spot, then out to sea for kayaking. Being on my own, I went out with the guide, which turned out to be the best ride, as we had to go and save people who had capsized and such, which gave us more purpose than just bopping about in a boat for a bit. Returning to the beach for lunch, I met some very cool people from England, Australia and America. The scenery, a collection of limestone islands jutting out of the sea, was breathtaking, it has to be said. Soon we were off to see the stunning Emerald Lake, a 'sinkhole lake' within a mountain. Then time to go home - they dropped me off at the beach by my accommodation again, which makes sense I guess, but I never had a chance to swap details with the friends I met, so actually I was a bit upset. Only a little bit though. Nonetheless, it was a thoroughly good day out.

Tomorrow is New Year's Eve, when I head to Ko Pha Ngan for what I've heard is an utterly insane party. Not only that, but I'm in the sort-of unique position of seeing in not only the year 2010, but also 2553, as that is the year in Thailand. I hope you all have a wonderful New Years, too.

Christmas is rubbish

I landed in Bangkok at about 11.30pm, exchanged my currency at the airport and with some trepidation, stepped outside to find some sort of transport to my hostel. This was rather easy and worked on a ticketing system, although I did walk the wrong way for a bit at first. I stepped in my cab, asked for it to be charged to the meter, to which the driver happily complied, and off I was. I was in Asia! I was very excited about this. A whole new angle to my journey. The driver was chatty and friendly, and although claiming not to know the whereabouts of my hostel, arrived at it straight away. Unbeknownst to me at the time, this was the exact opposite of how taxi drivers in Thailand operate. It was about 1am when I checked in, and I quietely snuck in to bed.

I awoke the next morning not really wanting to face the outside. I knew Bangkok was a busy, busy place and I could hear it through the windows. My first concern after showering was what the people here had for breakfast. Surely not Pad Thai and green curry? This small fear was put to rest when I got downstairs and found that the in-house bar would make me a 'special continental breakfast' of toast, croissant and boiled egg for the equivalent of just a couple of quid. I finished this off, and as if taking a plunge in to cold water, stepped outside to greet the city.

A habit of mine when I get to somewhere new is to simply go out and walk. No plans, no itinerary, just getting a feel of the place by wandering around it. This course of action is not wise in somewhere like Bangkok, I soon discovered. You must stride with purpose. The people can sense aimlessness like sharks sense blood. Tuk tuk and taxi drivers were persistent but easy enough to shake off with a smile and a 'no thanks', but when an old lady began speaking to me in the street I wasn't even a bit cautious. I'd heard Thais were very friendly, and she was asking about what my plans were in the country, which seemed nice. She suggested I visit a tourist information office up the street behind us. I told her I might check it out, but this wasn't enough - she wanted to show me exactly where it was. And it wasn't a short walk. We arrived and she put me in a seat in front of a suited man, then cleared off. Slightly flummoxed, I began to explain to the man, who called himself Eddy, what I needed for the next couple of weeks. He sold me accommodation, a trek to do in Chiang Mai in the north of the country, train and bus tickets. He even offered to arrange my Indian Visa for me. He offered me a price, which seemed fair at the time, and I was happy that everything had been sorted for the next couple of weeks. I could relax.

In the evening, some hours later, yet another friendly Thai person who called himself Tom spotted me as I walked past a temple. He told me he recognised me from the tourist office, as he worked there. He offered to show me around, and seeing as I had no other plans, I accepted. He showed me some temples, then suggested we take a boat ride, which I again said yes to. Tom wanted to show me the 'real' Thailand, and actually it didn't disappoint. The boat went out of the city and in to the areas where the houses are built on the river and people live more simply. It was fascinating. "Back there" said Tom, "it's a London. It's a Tokyo. It's a New York. On this side is Thailand". I didn't like to tell him how unlike London is to Bangkok, so I just nodded. We got back to the city and we got a tuk tuk back to where we had met. He wanted me to come with him to see some sort of ping-pong show, but I'm not that interested in sport, so instead we agreed to meet the next evening.

Now I'm not so dim that I didn't realise that some of this stuff might not just be friendly hospitatility on the part of the people of Bangkok. The thing with the old lady - well it wasn't a scam I'd read about, but I was curious to know if other people had come across something similar. A quick search online revealed that it was exactly the sort of thing that that particular tour agency did regularly. I instantly felt like a mug. I worried about the legitmacy of it all. What if it were all fake? And Tom? Well I wasn't sure what to think about him. I'd paid him no money, and he even covered the cost of the tuk tuk afterall. Maybe he was just a nice guy. But maybe he was getting some commission from the boat people or something. I started the next day in a cloud of paranoia, and it was to be my last day in Bangkok before heading to Chiang Mai. That's if the train ticket was real.

I negotiated what I thought was a fair price with a Tuk Tuk driver to take me to the river, then I was to take a boat up to the Grand Palace. I almost certainly paid too much for the boat. The Grand Palace, I suppose the Thai equivalent of Buckingham Palace, was very interesting and very beautiful. I spent a few hours there before stepping out for lunch. Outside, an old woman shoved some corn in my hand then made me feed it to some pigeons. She charged me 150 baht for the pleasure. We got in to an argument and I ended up paying 90 just to get rid of her. How could I be so stupid? I was so cross with myself for letting that happen, for going to that stupid agency and for getting taken for a ride with Tom. I'd read about all the scams and I was doing nothing about it. I walked around feeling grumpy for a bit. More people tried to sell me things, but I told them to clear off. To get back to the hostel I waved down a taxi, but the driver was honest enough to refuse on account that it was too far. The next taxi refused to use the meter so I refused his services, or anybody's in fact - I decided to walk back, a distance of about five miles. It gave me time to cool down a bit and actually I saw a great deal of Bangkok in that time. On my return I treated myself to a beer, and I decided that I wouldn't meet Tom. It all seemed too dodgy.


In my dorm at the hostel was an English girl called Debbie, who was relaxing on her bed. We got talking, and although neither of us were in the mood for socialising, we both took up the offer of going out with a group from the hostel, many of them Dutch or Australian. We went to the skytower, where you can have a very classy drink and you have no idea that the streets below are so polluted and foul smelling. We then went to Khao San road, which is at the opposite end of the class spectrum. Vibrant, sleezy, with bright lights, and cocktails served in plastic buckets. Me and Debbie went and had our feet nibbled by fish, which is a must-do in Asia in my opinion. Later we went clubbing at a place called 'The Club'. Wicked name for a club.

The next morning I left for Chiang Mai on what turned out to be a valid train ticket. This gave me some hope for the other things I'd bought from Eddy at the agency. Arriving in Chiang Mai, I was briefed about the next day's trek and shown to my regal quarters at what was clearly an upmarket establishment. What more can one ask for when one's bed linen is decorated with Disney's Alice in Wonderland and the shower appears to be attached to the toilet? Yeah, Eddy appeared to have let me down a little on this one. Nevermind, I slept and was collected the next day for my three day trek in to the jungle by the guide, named Book.

In the truck towards the start of the tour I got speaking to my fellow trekkers, and it seemed I wasn't the only one led astray by an old lady and fleeced by an agency. And these people seemed pretty bright. I started to feel a bit better about myself and my experiences in Bangkok. It seemed anyone of European ancestry was bound for the same treatment. Myself and a German man called Chris agreed that it wasn't even the money that was the issue - it was that it had been cheated out of you that was the most offending thing. I decided to treat the whole situation as a learning experience and to tread more carefully for the rest of my time in the east. Above all, I wasn't going to be hung up about it any more. Such concerns would surely ruin the trip.

So the first day was spent trekking through forest, stopping for a swim at a waterfall and having a look round a temple where monks seemed to reside. Hanging up to dry by the temple were some orange robes alongside a Manchester United towel. They really love football here. In the evening we were shown our accommodation - some pretty basic but comfortable huts - and then chilled out with some beers as Book made us all dinner. As night drew in we all sat around a camp fire talking, and I somehow got involved in a game where I got attached to a Swiss girl and we had to find a way of unattaching ourselves. Hilarity ensued. We were unsuccessful but the whole thing was pretty fun and everyone got involved.

The next day our group split up, which was sad, for some of us were only taking part for two days. The hardcore among us continued in to the jungle. We stopped at a swimming spot for lunch, where the water was cool and clear. The meal - some noodles with vegetables - was packaged in a big leaf and wrapped up like a present. We visited an elephant 'farm' on the way to where we were staying for the night, which was a novelty, but personally I didn't like to see them tied up with chains, and such short chains too. One of the elephants was apparently going 'crazy' and who could blame him? Truth is, he was probably just not so well behaved, or had simply had enough.

After dinner, our group socialised with another. More beer was had, and Book was passing around some of his locally made whisky, his favourite tipple. Book was a lovely guy and we got on pretty well - he invited me to a party the next night and to stay round his house with his family, which sounded like a really exciting opportunity. The night went on, and I'd made friends with a Kiwi called Petra (and her mum), a Swede named Emelie and a Dutch man named Emille. Things were much roudier than the night before, and a few too many drinks by the other group's guide - called Rambo - caused some tension before we decided to draw the evening to a close.

The next day was the highlight, where we took part in some activities. These were riding on a bamboo raft downriver and an elephant ride. The bamboo rafting was very relaxing and made a welcome change from all the walking. The elephant ride was certainly an experience, but again the animals appeared to be treated badly and I was pleased to get away from the place. Soon enough, we were all being dropped back at our respective hotels in Chiang Mai, and myself and Book arranged that he would meet me later to go to the party. By the time he arrived I noticed a slight pain in my stomach and a dizzy feeling. He explained, with apologies, that he had to work the next day and couldn't attend the party, so the night was off. I pretended to be disappointed, but secretly it was a blessing. To compensate he rode me around Chiang Mai on his motorbike for a bit before stopping for some street food and whisky. He then offered to take me to the Sunday Market, but I had to decline. I returned to my hotel and was sick.

I felt in a similar state the next morning, and laid in most of the day. I mustered enough energy to go out and buy some water, and to check e-mails. There was one from Petra. She said we should deffo meet up before the 29th. I agreed with this, but I was to leave on the 22nd, which was the next day. In spite of being ill, I told her meeting up was a good idea.

I met Petra and her mum at their hotel, which was much nicer than mine. We had a meal together - Italian, which was easier for me to stomach than Thai - and then me and Petra went for a few drinks on our own. I suggested she travel down to Ko Samui with me, and stupidly, she agreed. I met her at the train station the next day, and after stopping over in Bangkok, we went together to see if Eddy could get her on the same night bus as me to Ko Samui. "Yes there is space, Mr. Bennett, 950 baht".
"Right," I said "but we've already been offered 900, could you do it for that?"
Eddy laughed as if to suggest if I were going to start haggling, I should've started much lower.
"Of course Mr. Bennett, you're my best customer!" Too right I was. In fact what he really meant was "of course Mr. Bennett, you're an enourmous mug and I love it". I'm an honest Englishman, and haggling is not something I'm well practised at. I must improve.
We caught the bus later, but sadly it was now Petra's turn to feel unwell. The bus journey was over 12 hours long, and it wasn't the most comfortable ride. Petra found solice sleeping, or trying to, on the floor of the bus, in between instances of being sick. I tried to be comforting towards her, but probably was just patronising.

Eventually the bus ride finished, we got a ferry over to Samui and we checked in to our accommodation, which was a hut right on the beach. It was good enough, but Eddy could've done better I reckon. Palm trees, blue sea, sandy beach. Pretty much heaven. In fact the sea, the gulf of Thailand, is the warmest I've swum in ever. Petra was keen to do a scuba diving course before New Years, so we shopped about for a good deal to get her over to Ko Tao, where most of the diving takes place. A man at one of the offices, who I decided was from somewhere like Bolton (although Petra thought he was Irish - I'll never apologise again for muddling Kiwi and Aussie accents), had clearly found that the best way to speak to the locals was in their version of English. "Heylo. I have client here, want to do course, can you make cheaper little bit?" It was funny at the time.

We went to a really chilled out restaurant for dinner that night. It hardly felt like Christmas Eve at all, which was good because we'd both decided we were going to pretend that it wasn't Christmas. In the morning I waited outside with her until she left for her course, then I went back inside. I won't lie, I felt lonely and miserable. I went back to sleep until I decided that it wasn't going to make me feel any better. I went out to check out the beach and relaxed in a hammock for a bit. After wishing the folks back home a Merry Christmas, I wandered in to Fisherman's Village for food then called it a night early. Bo Phut, the beach where I'm situated, doesn't exactly seem thriving with backpackers. It's lined with hotels and bars that are mostly occupied by holidaying families and couples. Making friends here is more difficult than what I've been used to so far, and as a lone traveller I feel out of place. Nevermind, in a few days it's the Full Moon Party on Ko Pha Ngnan - and that's the whole reason for me being here anyway. We'll see how things pan out until then.

The whole Australian east coast in one big long post

Thus far, as you are no doubt aware reader, my trip has been a little easy. Each country I have visited has been English-speaking, Western in culture, and a former colony of the British Empire. From tonight things get a bit more challenging as I finally make my way to Asia. So before that happens, let me tell you about my trip along the East Coast of Australia.

After a short ride on the Oz Experience bus from Rainbow Beach, I was dropped off at Hervey Bay, where I was to depart for my trip to Fraser Island. Fraser Island is one of the two major activities that most East Coast travellers take part in. You will never ever ever find a backpacker on this route who doesn't intend to go there, or who hasn't already. It is the world's largest sand island and a national park, with very little man-made development. Generally you'll spend a night or two there, and there are two ways of seeing it: a guided tour, done by professionals; or 'self-drive', where you're put with a group and you all rent a 4x4 and dart it around yourselves. I chose the latter because I thought it sounded fun.

Luckily for me, I was put with a group of very, very nice people. But I have to be honest, most people in the group were pre-acquainted university friends on a short holiday, and socially I didn't quite feel on an equal pegging. Out of 17 of us (taking up two 4x4s), only three us were outside of the social group, and I was the only one travelling alone. We all mingled fine, and I certainly felt very welcome, but as a lone backpacker, the situation wasn't ideal.

With that rant out of the way, I can now tell you what I enjoyed about Fraser Island: a couple of the lakes; driving on the beach for a bit.

So, after Fraser I returned to Hervery Bay to spend another night before getting back on the bus. Here I'd become friends with a German girl called Alice who shared an apartment with me, and in order to save money we bought some food and made dinner together, which was lovely, despite the hostel's rubbish facilities. The next day we travelled to a town called 1770, so called in order to attract tourists who might be interested that Captain Cook discovered the area in that year. Not that they'd be attracting them to much, apart from maybe the excellent hostel we stayed at called Cool Bananas. Myself, Alice and Andrea, a Hungarian via London, swam in the sea for a bit, one of the last areas going north that is safe from stingers and with any amount of surf. In the evening it rained and Alice made me watch the Big Lebowski. Not at gun-point or anything, she was very nice about it. Anyway, it's a very funny film and my life feels richer for it.

From 1770 to Kroombit, a cattle ranch in the outback. On arrival we were given the option of going for a horse ride or a quad bike ride. I'd ridden a horse before, so I opted for the quad bikes, as did Alice and Andrea. The driver of the OzExperience bus rode with us on a regular two-wheeled bike, and in an hilarious action, used one of those wheels to spray me with mud as we drove through puddles caused by the rain the night before (the first they'd had there since April). Once the ride was over we observed the horse riders returning from their experience. They looked rubbish as they plodded along, and we looked brilliant because we were dirty and had clearly had more fun. They weren't even allowed to break in to a trot or a canter. Ha!

After this we were all led up to the ranch proper, where we were encouraged to take part in herding up some goats. After some practice with a lasoo, we were split in to teams and given the task of capturing a specific goat, lying it on its side and 'branding' it (placing a not-hot iron rod on its rear). Our team won thanks to a speedy lasoo artist, although apparently I hurt the goat when I picked it up and laid it down, and later they had to take it out to be shot. This is a lie, but it did have a bit of a limp. We all drunk in the evening.

A long drive to Airlie Beach the next day, stopping off half way through for the exciting and very Australian practice of playing lawn bowls. I was rubbish at that. The climate was becoming markedly hotter. The air conditioning on the bus was having trouble doing its job sufficiently. It was about 39c outside. Fortunately, when we arrived in Airlie, OzExperience had arranged a table for us with some free beer and some free nibbles, and this helped relieve some of the stress of the day. Especially after the lawn bowls, I couldn't believe how bad I was at that. It was also in this evening that I met a new group of brilliant people. More about them later.

Most people stop at Airlie Beach so they can hop on a boat and go sailing around the Whitsunday Islands for a couple of days, and everyone knows how good it is to conform,especially me. The Whistsundays, so called because Captain Cook discovered them on Whit Sunday. Apart from he didn't take in to consideration the time zones, and it was actually Whit Monday. For the islands, again, there are choices. You can have a boat that specialises in partying, or one that's just for chilling out, but I chose one that specialised in getting in the water and doing activities, in particular scuba diving and snorkelling along the Great Barrier Reef. This proved to be something of a crap idea, as it turns out I hate scuba diving. Out of the all the things I've done on this journey that I've never tried before - the rafting, the sky diving, the surfing - scuba diving is the only one that I truly did not enjoy and felt very uncomfortable with. I'm not sure quite what it was. Perhaps that it felt so claustrophobic, or that I lacked control, being not-so-strong a swimmer. I didn't complete the full lesson, and I felt guilty that I'd let myself down. I've tried so hard on this journey to try new things, or push myself in to things that scare me, and I bailed so easily on this one. I decided that the time just wasn't right and I'd give it another go in the future.

Still, the trip had much more to offer. The snorkelling I did enjoy, and I did see the Great Barrier Reef, and it was beautiful. We also stopped off at Whitehaven Beach for a few hours, possibly the world's second best beach after Camber Sands. The sand is very white, very, very fine and gets in to everything, like cameras and ears. It's a gorgeous place indeed. Back on the boat, it was fantastic just to chill out and soak up the sun on deck. I made some good friends, and the chilled out atmosphere on board the vessel suited me to a tee. Again, on return to Airlie, a table with free beer and nibbles was booked for us, this time just because it was a nice idea.

Onward then, to Magnetic Island, apparently named after Captain Cook's compass went a bit wobbly when he sailed by it. I stayed at a Base Hostel, which are usually a bit grim, but this one was lovely - right next to the beach, with relaxed live music every evening, setting a very 'pacific' mood. The brilliant people I mentioned that I met in Airlie? Well they were in Magnetic Island, too, and we became very good friends while we were there. A total of eight of us - myself, Pete, Helen, Dee, Lou, Millie, Liv and Lindsay - all decided to hire out two small cars and to explore the island ourselves. Small is the right word. Really tiny, topless, Daihatsus that are great for zipping around with in the heat. We stopped for the odd hike to see wild koalas and rock wallabies, and while the others soaked up the sun on the beach, myself Pete and Dee took it in turns to have a drive round the island. It was a good day.

Where to next? Well stupidly, the lady who booked my trip had me down to stop in Tully, which has nothing but a river for amusement, and it was too late for me to change it. Fortunately I was able to stay with the bus for one stop further up at Mission Beach, where there is at least a nice hostel, but the rest of the crew would be going to Cairns. Most people stop at Mission to do a sky dive or white water rafting. Having done these things in New Zealand, I was more in to saving my money, so wasted a couple of days by the pool and watching DVDs before heading to Cairns myself.

Cairns is the last stop on the east coast trip, and is a large town that acts as a gateway to many other activities and further parts of Australia. Alice was up there looking for work, so I met up with her again, and I'd booked in to the same hostel as the Magnetic Island crew, so we all went for a big drunken night out. The next day I helped Alice write her resume, which isn't a good cure for a hangover. The day after I took a day trip to Cape Tribulation, so called because it was that time of the month for Captain Cook. A small group of us were driven up to the Daintree River, where we took a cruise and saw a wild crocodile! Exciting! We took a hike through the rainforest, where the guide relayed his endless array of knowledge. We fed some kangaroos and a BBQ was made for us with some delicious steak. After, we took a swim in a creek and sampled some tropical fruits, some of which you've probably never heard of. It was a day well spent. That night was to be my last night before flying back down to Sydney, and to my delight I bumped in to a couple of the people whom I started my trip with - they'd finally caught up with me. It was a great way to wrap things up.

So I flew back down to Sydney, armed only with a gin and tonic (although the flying is getting easier) and prepared to head to Thailand. The weather in Sydney was cold, the sky was grey, and there was a slight drizzle in the air. It was time to go and experience something a lot less like home.